In the Light Lane
Rebel Artist

A library media specialist, I post my standards in the library on a bulletin board that has been decorated with the cartoon character Sponge Bob. When kids bring me pictures or drawings of the cartoon character, I add it to the background of the bulletin board.

Yesterday, a third grader brought me a new picture. I looked at the full bulletin board and said, "My board is getting very full. I wonder where I can put it?" The quick-thinking third grader had an answer ready. "Why don't you take down one of those standards sheets?"

Natalie Johnson
Wichita, Kansas

My wife substituted recently at the elementary school where I work. Part of her job was to supervise children during recess. At the end of recess, she was to make sure that all of the students were off the playground and heading back to class. Her written plans directed her to "sweep the field." Not understanding, she asked a co-worker: "But it's so big...where do I start?" When told this, I quickly found a broom and brought it to her!

Phil Falk
Edmonds, Washington

A few years ago when I was teaching fourth grade, our class was discussing Hades in Greek mythology. "He was the god of the underworld. Do you know where that is?" I asked. One student answered back, "You mean like Australia?"

Patricia Rebollar
San Jose, California

As I greeted my students one Monday morning, A young boy decided to tell me about his weekend. He informed me that he had attended a wedding where his mother was the matron of honor. When I asked whose wedding he attended, he explained, "My mom's best friend. She and her husband renewed their wedding vowels."

Kim Edmonds
Blackstone, Virginia

I teach prekindergarten in a year-round school. I got married over our fall break. When we came back to school, we were outside with the other prekindergarten class.

A little boy in the other class walked up to me and said, "Ms. Hargis, will you please tie my shoe?" I said, "Did you know I got married and my name is different now?" The little boy replied, "Oh, sorry. Mrs. Different, will you please tie my shoe?"

Janna Hargis Cowden
Murfreesboro, Tennessee

A student of mine was signing (using sign language) with her hands as she was walking down the hallway at school. I asked her if she was preparing for a speech or presentation of some sort. "Oh no," she answered, "I'm just talking to myself!" We both had a good laugh over that one.

Lonnie Corpus
Oshkosh, Wisconsin

In conjunction with their Spanish III class, my son and another student come into my kindergarten each week to teach beginning Spanish. At the end of the eight-week course, we have a special party. In addition to ethnic foods, we showed the Spanish-language version of the movie Toy Story. About 30 seconds into the film, one of my kindergartners stood up and shouted, "Mrs. Miller, Woody speaks Spanish!"

Cathy Miller
Cynthiana, Kentucky

As a special education teacher who is hearing-impaired, I often get questions from students about my hearing aids. One of my third-grade resource room students was especially curious and wanted to know how hearing aids worked.

So I took off my hearing aid and proceeded to explain how it helped me to hear. I showed him the battery, the volume control, and the tiny wires inside of it. As I put the hearing aid back in my ear, he looked at me in amazement and asked, "Are you a robot?"

Maureen Briggs
Plainville, Connecticut

One of my students was having a challenging day. After we reviewed the math lesson four times, he began moaning that he was dumb. I reminded him that he was not dumb, but that he learned at a slower pace than other students. His indignant reply: "I'm not a slow learner, just a fast forgetter." Most of us over 50 can relate to that!

Mary Meyer
Keokuk, Iowa

Just saw this sign in front of a daycare facility in Merrimack, New Hampshire. It's been up a few weeks, so I guess it's a hard position to fill!

Wanted: a 2-year-old teacher

Suzy Portnoy-McKinnon
Merrimack, New Hampshire

A number of years ago, when I was teaching a group of kindergartners, we were learning about the weather and how it affected our lives. I inserted the word "season" in our discussion; then I asked the group whether anyone knew the four seasons of the year.

A five-year-old boy quickly raised his hand and immediately answered: "Yes, I know the four seasons of the year. They are football, basketball, baseball, and golf."

Robbie Brown
Katy, Texas

My sixth-grade homeroom was turning proper nouns into adjectives. Examples were England ("We speak the English language"), Italy ("I love Italian food"), and so on. When Canada came up, one student answered, "My mom drinks Canadian Mist"!

Paul Beckwith
Angola, Indiana

During my daughter's first year of kindergarten, she often had to stay after school with Mommy for special meetings. On the drive home one afternoon, she asked, "What is jail?" I replied, "It's a place where a person has to stay for a long time to pay for doing something bad and can't leave without permission."

"Oh," she said, "sort of like a faculty meeting." Exactly!

Tammy Huffman
Castlewood, Virginia

One of my third graders gave me a lovely necklace as an end-of-the-year present. When I expressed my joy at receiving such a beautiful necklace, the student explained, "Oh, don't worry about it. It was free. My mother works at Avon."

Leah Korba
Saugus, Massachusetts