Grief Training for ESPs?

School Staff Help Students Cope with Emotional Emergencies

By Dave Arnold                

During recent summers, several students from my school district in Brownstown, Illinois have died from car accidents. We've also had two students commit suicide.

As every school employee knows, a student’s death has a devastating effect across the community. On campus, a student’s unexpected and tragic death usually requires a crisis response from counselors.

Surrogate Parent

At times during the school year, we have had so many students asking for counseling that our counselors and teachers were overwhelmed. One year, so many complaints were made to our school board about the lack of counselors that additional counselors were recruited.

When tragedy strikes the delicate emotions of students, Education Support Professionals (ESP) do not turn their backs. When an ESP is called into action as surrogate mom, dad, or friend, they respond in the best way they know how. Often, they simply offer a shoulder to cry on.

In Brownstown, families of the student victims chose to have the funerals in the school gymnasium. When the services were held, most teachers and counselors were out of town on vacation. Many parents were at work. Fortunately, some ESP were on hand to help console grieving students.

Preventive Measure

The most training that ESP have had as “counselors” has been based on personal experience. While many ESP are trained in first aid and CPR, most have no formal education on how to help heart-broken students.

The knowledge ESP have in responding to medical emergencies is of great value to schools. Most schools do not have a nurse on staff. If a designated teacher or administrator is not immediately available, an ESP might be nearby. To fill this role effectively, they need training.

ESP might receive training in counseling after the fact, but hardly ever as a course of prevention. As a custodian, I do not want to make counseling a profession. Like many of my ESP colleagues, I want to be able to help students who are in the throes of sorrow.

Conference Workshops 

It’s unlikely that school districts would offer this training. It costs money, takes time away from work and is not required by law. The best hope for training in the fundamentals of helping students in emotional emergencies would be at conferences sponsored by the National Education Association or local ESP Associations.

In the October 2004 issue of NEA Today , former teacher Donna Marie Pitino says in her article, “Healing through Writing,” that teachers often find themselves comforting a child for various reasons.

“But how do you comfort 50 students at once,” she asks. The article goes on to tell how some students worked their way through the grieving process by writing poetry, designing cards, and keeping a journal.

He Helped Her Cry

I have a friend who is a school custodian. He’s also a husband and father. He once told me about being at school one day when he noticed a young girl crying. He learned that her father had died earlier that day. Though obviously distraught and in pain, the mother decided to send her daughter to school anyway.

The girl’s teacher tried to console her but she was as inconsolable as a person could be. The custodian didn’t know what to do from a professional standpoint. Being a father was his only qualification. He did what came natural. He sat down and helped her cry.

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(Dave Arnold, a member of the Illinois Education Association, is head custodian at Brownstown Elementary School in Southern Illinois. He can be contacted at dparnold@csuol.com.)

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the NEA or its affiliates.